Since returning home from the feast, and after months of attempting to get back on schedule, I have finally found time to write about the many occurrences that have happened over the course of 5 months time! I have so much to catch you up on, (which in the mean time, I can easily finish my puebla, so I can complete part 2 of 'Tattered'!), but first I must share the many fond memories I have treasured from this year's FOT! I regret not taking more pictures, but this is what I have and it is my hope that the following year I will have taken much more! But until then, savor the moments captured!
Preparing for the Trip:
June 6, 2016 Yahweh confirmed to me that we'd attend Eliyah's FOT in Steelville, MO this year.
I was quite hesitant the moment He told me, was this true? Of course, ever since browsing through 2015's Sukkot Photo Gallery and attending the same gathering one year prior, naturally I really wanted to go. But I didn't want to assume that it was from Yahweh if it was my own carnality. However, through several previous confirmations,Yahweh told me without a shadow of a doubt that we would be going to MO for Sukkot this year.
To demonstrate my faith, He instructed me to begin working on some projects for the auction... this was a huge step on my part! Heeding His instruction, I day by day completed items for the feast. About one month later, I finally had the courage to tell my family about what Yahweh had told me. They were surprised and very happy to say the least! I'd have to say that their belief was a lot stronger than mine, lol. Even after telling my family, and after we had all started creating items for the feast, in the back of my mind was the haunting whisper, "What if it doesn't happen?"
After a while though, the thought faded away as business swept over us, stirring our hearts as we chattered about the upcoming feast that was soon to arrive!
Serious preparations had begun to unfold about a month or so prior to Sukkot. We had lots to complete! Planning menus, sorting wardrobes, finishing auction items, and cutting our latest CD was just the skeleton... there was so much to flesh out!
Day by day as Sukkot approached us, uncompleted projects, menus, and even our album began to come together within time. Paintings, crocheted items, wood burned plaques, etc. were finally on their way to being finished! Sukkot was just around the corner, and we had no time to waste!
Unfortunately, a week prior to us leaving, our dad had received confirmation that he wouldn't be going with us this year. It was sad to think that he wouldn't be able to come with us, and we didn't understand Yahweh's leading, but we knew that He had a plan and a purpose for it, and that we should trust Him either way.
With the trailer packed tight, and the sleepless night behind us, hours before leaving our album was complete. Discs burned rapidly while neighboring computers spat out CDs in no time. Everything was set: meals made, clothes packed, kitchen and camping supplies buckled down, map printed, and items for the auction tucked safely away. We were ready, everything was set.
Minutes before we left, we all gathered together as a family and prayed for one another. Us for safe journeys, and daddy for safety at home. Besides the joys of the feast to come, the sadness of not being able to celebrate together left a small ache in our hearts. We would miss him so much, but we would be okay.
After prayer, we exchanged hugs and kisses, and retrieved any items we may have forgotten, also fetching some CDs for the car to listen to music as we traveled. Alas, we bade farewells to our pets for the week, packed up some snacks with water, and climbed into the car with Annie and mama in front, and I in back. Looking over my shoulder as I waved goodbye to daddy, the car drove farther from home and toward our destination. Finally at last, after months of waiting, we were on our way!
Traveling Time:
After about 45 minutes on the road, pulling over in between to check the trailer and to swap places with Annie so I could read the map, we hit the Mississippi River in no time! The crossing between the two states was a moment I will always remember! Being stories high above the vastness of the water, with the bridge's heights towering over you is such a surreal experience! Definitely an awesome memory I will forever hold dear to my heart!
Once arriving in Missouri, we were headed for adventure!
Dark clouds enveloped the skies, threatening to release a downpour... still we drove on, until the smokiness broke through into a sea of droplets raining heavily from heaven. But the second storm... was worst. We scarce could see the cars in front of us, everywhere was hazy white... the rain poured down... hard. We had to slow down and pull to the side of the highway for a bit until the rain eased up... it was really frightening! We drove through it however, and were back on our feet not long after.
Sometime in the middle of the second or third storm, we hadn't secured the tarp well onto the trailer (from previous checkups and pullovers)... so when the winds were whipping down the highway, the tarp lifted and started slipping off trailer!
But praise Yahweh, mama had just pulled over to the farther right side before the tarp could fly off entirely! After pulling over, she headed out to secure the tarp onto the trailer. On my right side (I being in the passenger seat), I was concerned about mama, even more so for Annie who would join her not soon after.
The traffic on the left was zooming past them at alarming speed, an eighteen wheeler had drove close enough to the drivers's side to cause the car to rock violently from the force of the truck. I whispered silent prayers for Annie and mama as they remained out in the rain, hoping they would be safe.
Not long after, Annie ran to my side of the car and opened my door to borrow my pocket knife. I fidgeted through my purse only to dump out the contents in my lap in search for the knife. Handing it to her, she took off while I shut my door; a shiver trickling down my spine... praying steadily as before.
Finally, after about 10-15 minutes, they returned drenched in water from the head down. They told me that they had attempted to secure the tarp and hoped that it would hold until the next upcoming exit. Fortunately, it held.
When we merged onto the right exit, making a left near a gas station, mama parked and hopped out with Annie to further inspect the problem and properly align and make adjustments so the tarp could be fastened onto the trailer, while I remained in the car again. And that is when it dawned on me...
Where is my pocket knife? Of course I had assumed that Annie had it since I handed it to her last, but it was when she approached me again to borrow it that I felt concerned.
As I explained that I had handed it to her during the third light storm, her countenance fell as she discovered that the knife was no longer nested at the bottom of her pockets.
She had searched the entire back seat, but deep in the pit of my heart, I had little hope that I would ever see it again. It was gone. But this was not just a pocket knife... this was my grandfather's pocket knife, from his father, and his father's father... it was special. But now, it was gone forever.
Not soon after, she was called. Apologizing for my loss, she left me in the car alone to think about the sudden turn of events. I was very disappointed to say the least. Maybe the knife wasn't important... but the sentimental value of it could never be regained.
Praying aloud, I asked Yahweh for peace. Even though this seemed trivial, even though I would get over it by the time we reached the grounds, I still needed peace and assurance that everything would be okay. Instead, I was met by the calming whisper of His love. I have it right here...
His unseen guidance in action as my hand brushed against the cold steel object lying beside the cup holder. I was bewildered. In a matter of moments, I had seen a miracle... it may have been trivial, but a miracle remains one despite the size of it. And that's something I learned that day out of the many miracles He had performed for us already. Yahweh cares about every detail in our lives, no matter how trivial.
Almost as instantly as Annie and mama returned, I told them everything that happened and we all rejoiced and praised Yahweh for the miraculous work He had done throughout this journey. It was amazing!
With a remainder of two hours left on our journey, we traveled without incident toward our destination. Hearing the joys of constant conversation of the upcoming feast made me smile... though I was excited, I had purposed in my mind not to allow the butterflies in my stomach to take flight lest I become too shy to enjoy myself.
Before I knew it, we had arrived. Yahweh's promise had been fulfilled, here we were! About to enter the feast we had waited so long for, and it finally had come.
The Arrival:
From the moment I saw the banner, the butterflies within unleashed into uncontrollable flutters. We were here, we had finally arrived safely to our destination!
Before we knew it, we had found our site and were already setting up camp in no time. With plenty of helping hands, our site was nearly complete before nightfall. After the last finishing touches, with both tents and canopy furnished, we headed for the showers, returned to the camp afterwards, and chatted of the days events before we dozed off to sleep. Such an eventful, miraculous day!
The next morning, after eating some breakfast burritos, we did a little more organizing in the canopy (we use this as our kitchen), so everything would be easily accessible during the rest of the week. After helping mama out, mama suggested that Annie and I could go to the Conference Center to meet new people and make new friends. Annie was thrilled, but I being extremely shy and introverted decided to compromise my comfort zone since Sukkot is Annie's main sorce of social interaction, so after fetching my guitar and staying close by her side, I followed her up to the Conference Center.
As we entered the hall, I spotted a secluded area where I could stay and play music while Annie socialized, such a perfect plan! However, I discovered very quickly that Annie wanted to socialize with me, so I kind of had no choice but to do otherwise.
I struggled with the present dilemma, Why am I being difficult? After all, Sukkot provides the opportunity to meet new people... Annie needs this anyway. But unfortunately, after contemplating on what I should do, my shyness got the best of me and we stayed in the secluded area for a bit.
After a mere pause from plucking my guitar strings, I looked over my shoulder to see Annie behind me... disappointed and sad. Why does my shyness have to dictated to me in social situations? I sighed, turning completely to face her, "Alright, I'll be willing to meet new people with you. But can we do it gradually at least? Start with someone we know?"
Just around that time, someone had come over to where we were, and sat down across from us to introduced himself as Josiah. Annaliese, naturally an extrovert, sat up front with me to begin a conversation as I mentally lost myself in the music. I didn't want to look rude, but again, my shyness gets the best of me at times, unfortunately.
As they continued to converse, another young man came over and introduced himself too as Josiah's brother, Caleb. While Annie began to form yet another acquaintance, I continued plucking the strings as sweet melodies drew forth from the sound hole into the air. Thus far, I had introduced myself to two people, Josiah and Caleb, but I hadn't looked at them during the introduction... my eyes remained on the clear nylon strings below me, my safety blanket... my comfort zone.
As Annie continued to talk with Josiah, my efforts to focus on the music alone made me become aware that I may have communicated that I didn't want to socialize, which was partly true. But, like I have mentioned before... shyness had unfortunately clamped me down, resulting from the butterflies at the entrance and a myriad of other reasons.
However, while listening to the music as he studied the coordination of my fingers, Caleb struck a musical conversation with me which eased a lot of the tension. It didn't take long to finally warm up and begin to converse with my new acquaintance. Before I knew it, we both had guitars in hand and began to fill the room with music. The ice had been broken! It was such a wonderful feeling to be able to hear another instrument play with me at present, there is nothing like the sound of live music to the ears!
Though the audio in the video below is indistinct, it does capture one of the most beautiful moments of the feast, which is why I have posted it anyway. It isn't perfect, but it is a memory, and for that, it's definitely worth uploading!
The piece I was playing was a Celtic arrangement by Clive Carroll, (check out my cover here), while Caleb attempted to play an accompaniment with his guitar. The video illustrates the moments in which we were trying to figure out how to make the two unify. We really had fun!
Somewhere in between, we ended up meeting nearly the entirety of the Gulder family, which are very musically inclined! I was very pleased that both our families hit it off at Sukkot for the rest of the week... it was really awesome to finally meet them!
After sometime, still remaining on the subject of music, Caleb revealed his cello after hearing that I was about to bring one home after Sukkot. I thank Yahweh my mama was there at that moment to encourage me to learn a little bit about the instrument, and to try it out after Caleb offered me to, because if she wasn't there, my shyness would've gotten the best of me!
As I examine the picture above, I can't help but critique myself! LOL! But, things are awkward if you aren't used to it, and that's all there is to it! I had fun, nevertheless, and learned quite a bit. Boy, are there such differences between a violin and cello! LOL! They are so similar, and yet, not similar in other ways. It's a pretty incredible instrument! And I'm glad that I have the privilege of owning one today!
Toward the evening we returned to the conference center with guitar and ukulele in hand to welcome in the Shabbat with some worship, joining a handful of brethren singing to the side. Those moments together were very spirit filled, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the Spirit of Yahweh was in our midst. It was really amazing to feel His presence on one of the most set apart nights of Sukkot.
After worship, my attention was captured by a certain violinist that I had wanted so much to meet earlier that year. He played so splendidly it brought tears to me eyes! As I watched him perform on stage with another musician, I began to unwind and my mind traveled back to the fulfilled promise that Yahweh had orchestrated. We were here.
The week followed with various activities, fellowship meetings, community campfires, lots of singing and music, classes, baptisms, the auction, and lots more!
Sadly, one of the highlights for me of the feast were unfortunately not captured on camera, and playing countless games of Mafia with the Gulders was definitely one of them! Watching others trying to fit the pieces together on who was the Mafia that had eliminated the previous player was completely entertaining! So many stories, and so many wonderful memories we shared together that night! It was awesome!
I spent quite a bit of time with Caleb as well, we were either jamming at our campsite, at the community center, campfire, or wherever we happened to be at the moment. It was really fun to get to know him and we were soon fast friends. So many other moments weren't pictured, my few violin sessions that I had with Benjamin, the opportunity to teach davidic dancing with two girls who were familiar with a few steps and wanted to learn more dances, the community meetings, the singing, the music, the women's meeting, survival class, I missed so much... (don't let shyness grip you, LOL).
Yahweh willing though, next year there will definitely be much more!!! Be alas, these are the moments captured.
During the auction, the youth were assisting in helping bring the current items to the front. (Only Annie and Kaitlyn happened to be looking at the camera, LOL!)
Moments before Annie and her acquaintances had their turn for displaying auction items, they took a quick snap to capture a joy filled moment. Glad Annie had lots of fun this year! :D
Mr. Tate and his organization of the Youth and Family Night played some worship, it was a performance like no other. There is nothing more beautiful than to witness Yahweh's people offering up their praises to him! HalleluYah!
And here, I was especially blessed by the music of the Schminke and Kelley family, they have such an anointing on them its radiant! To be able witness the Spirit of Yahweh in the room was a beautiful experience in the midst of the Body of Messiah. It was amazing to once again be rejuvenated by His love.
I cannot mention enough what a fantastic week we had at the feast! I remember nearly every night staying up late past twelve with my mom reliving the events that occurred. I smile every time I think of it, such fond memories.
During the week, whenever we had the opportunity, we would Skype our dad and tell him how much fun we were having and that all was well. Being able to fellowship with the brethren was amazing and very much needed, I learned so much this year and I was immensely blessed. The fear of singing on stage was beginning to subside, and the shyness I was feeling was starting to wear off. But sadly, before we knew it... Sukkot was drawing to a close.
As we marched toward the river, it began to dawn on me... I had waited months for the feast to arrive, and now it was ending... and wouldn't begin until next year.
The gravel shifted beneath me as I walked on with my violin case strapped to my back, it was such a different Sukkot... but a good different, something I had begun to welcome, but it was slowly slipping away... it was slipping away.
After a few minutes, we had finally arrived at the river for the the baptisms. There were quite a few people there already, so it was pretty easy to blend into the crowd. We stayed there a bit, but spotting an isolated place near the water away from activity, mama suggested to take a walk and check out the location.
The river was so beautiful! Shimmering, inviting, beckoning. If only I had brought my swimwear! It was hot enough for a swim, but I hadn't thought that far when I had packed my outfits. I gazed longingly, if only I had brought my swimwear!
After we were a distance from the gathering, I decided to slip off my shoes and wiggle my toes into the welcoming wetness as the chill submerged my ankles. Memories from yesteryear returned afresh, I glided and splashed the water sending droplets skiing across the surface. It was fun to feel water beneath me again.
After reliving past times, I tiptoed around sharp stones and rocks so my heels wouldn't bruise and stepped into my shoes once again. The sun was dropping a little lower with each passing minute, reflecting into the bubbling waters. I absorbed the scene around me, trees in the distance on both sides with the river in the center passing through, flowers and plants embedded in the rocks, wind slightly breezing by, it was a beautiful moment.
I slipped my violin case off my shoulder, placing it atop the rocks. Unzipping my case, I withdrew my violin from its chamber and nuzzled it between my neck. With bow rosined and tightened, I began to play, my nerves unwinding. The music seemed to enhance the moment, it was sad but peaceful. It was like touching the sky for the first time.
The end of the week, the end of Sukkot, packing up and leaving was sad, waving goodbye at friends, glancing behind me for the last time, but no... it was something much more.
It was the end of a chapter in my life.
